Lane eight, the slowest lane? Yes, I’m afraid so. The casual lane? Not! At
Wett Ones Master’s Swimming the Ladies of Lane Eight (LoL8) are keen and more
competitive than you might imagine.
But, first, an explanation: LoL8 is a misnomer because it is
not exclusively female. We have several honorary ladies. Sadly (for the girls)
the honoraries tend to be the fastest.
Josephine, Kari and Lindy compete for speed in sets. Who
will be first to be a Serious Swimmer of Lane Seven (SSLS)? Lindy, who has been with the squad for four
years? The mega-effort and mega-fit Josephine, who has been with the squad for
three years? Or super-keen Kari who joined eighteen months ago.
Then there’s Cecily, who has been with Wett Ones for 14 years
and has the most elegant swimming style. Of the honoraries, there is Gordy the
speedy youngster who would be a SSLS if he didn’t take so many holidays in
Scotland or wreck his style with running; Matt, the Tama Tosser, who just needs
to tweak his backstroke before qualifying for the Magnificent Seven; Michael
who is a Bold and Beautiful swimmer with Bluewater-sustained endurance; Selwyn,
who attends sporadically until the ocean
swims come around; and then there is much-loved
Kevin who has been out of the pool for several weeks because of illness.
Everyone misses Big Kev.
The LoL8 each have their own swimming battle. Josephine is
addressing the intricacies of butterfly with vengeance. Lindy works very hard to develop and engage
her core. She also tries to remember to avoid sighting on the end of the pool (well
it’s good in the ocean), Kevin wrestles
with tumble turns, Kari changes her stroke with every piece of advice and Matt is
working on speeding up his backstroke.
The competition does not rest with swimming. Kari and Lindy vie for swimming outfits, loud
suits with matching goggles and hats. Cec
dons the racier of the Funkita suits and Gordy has a groovy collection of
Funkytrunks. LoL8 have a weakness for Funkita and Funky Trunks.
Casual we are not. We keep to the time repeats, try to do as
we are told by the coaches and have a high attendance record. We may aspire to join
the SSLS and admit we will never become Heroes of Lane Six but we are very proud to be
the Ladies (and gentlemen) of Lane Eight.